Moving Forward ... From Trouble to High Places

A Conversation with Self in Trouble

“You have to fight,” whispers the tiny, inner-voice.

“I tried that before,” says the tinier, inner-voice.

“Well . . . you’re still alive,” says the tiny voice.

“But I have no power,” says the tinier voice.

“But you’re still alive,” repeats the tiny voice.

“But with no power,” says the tinier voice.

“Then, give up,” says the tiny voice.

And there is silence. And this silence is key . . . because the inner-self that keeps a conversation going with itself is not really ready to give up.

Our tiny inner-selves may be tired . . . and our tiny inner-selves may be wounded. We may be altered. We may be maimed, emotionally. But we’re still alive. And if conversation with Self can encourage Self to keep trying, then perhaps conversation with Self can help Self to heal.

We can withstand some inner silences, but we need to understand that silence within the womanspace often signifies a refusal, on our part, to engage our spirits in working toward the resolution of our issues. We choose silence because silence is easier—easier than sitting with Self and hashing out our truths. Only the human part of Self can call the silences within the womanspace to a halt. Either we choose to purposefully push through the emotionally protective barriers that we've erected over time . . . or we don't.

Silence, (a long, weighted-silence).

And the tinier inner-voice sighs,
“I’m not ready to give up . . . yet.”

And the tiny voice gets just a little louder and stronger.

”Well then, get up!”

And this particular conversation is over . . . and Self stands, reluctantly, to begin another round. Another round of trying to leave Trouble. And this, too, is key: Trying to leave Trouble for the sake of leaving Trouble will only, sadly, send you off toward another space of Trouble. Same land . . . just a different address. But, deciding to leave Trouble for your High Places—allowing your spirit to point out the good in your life and using that as map, compass and goal, spring-board and landing place—will get you going and get you out.

When we find ourselves dwelling in—not just passing through—Trouble, it is because we are choosing, for what-ever reason, to stay right there. We are giving ourselves permission to stay in Trouble. Perhaps we are too tired to make an escape plan. Perhaps all of our energies have been scattered to inner spaces that are in automatic survival mode. Perhaps we feel that we have a better chance of surviving in Trouble than we do anywhere else. But one thing is clear, and it is a sobering thought: Trouble is a state of mind. Trouble is self-hate in a red satin dress . . . gussied up . . . perfume over funk . . . and with a really dumb attitude. And Trouble is our choice.

The first thing you have to realize about Trouble is that you're not supposed to dwell there! The second thing: You can’t get out without courting a new spiritual awareness, a new self-understanding, and a brand new mindset.

There is a river to our High Places inside of each of us . . .
and we could leave Trouble if we would just walk upon it.

We find ourselves stuck in Trouble when we have lived in Trouble-mode for too long. Trouble is debilitating. It keeps you restricted within yourself. You are not capable of carrying out your good ideas. They hang in your mind, hitting you, first, with enthusiasm, but later slugging you with frustration. And the longer you hold your hopes in your mind, the more they make you angry and ashamed of yourself because you haven't managed to make yourself act upon them.

Trouble is a cold, dirty, disgusting place to have to call home, and yet, it is a comfort zone for those of us who live there because it’s all we know. There are no good neighborhoods in Trouble. Every avenue is part of a pitiful slum. You can paint your house in Trouble, but the structure and the foundation will still be bad. You can get an addition put on, but it’ll never be big enough to allow you to get away from yourself. You can entertain there—the pity parties are going on all the time. You’ll have lots of guests, and there will always be plenty to talk about. Who doesn’t like to talk about their Trouble? Who doesn’t like to talk about how they’re going to get out of Trouble . . . one day?

(Excerpted: From Trouble to High Places: Meditations for Women Who Are So Ready to Cross the Bridges that Lead to Joy, Copyright 2008 Esther Davis-Thompson)

Ready to start moving your life forward?

Today... decide that you will leave your Trouble for your High Places and you will miraculously be shown a step to take!

Love & Light
Esther